bu + bew, part deux

Part One is here.

Summer 2001 So we start hanging out, hooking up. We watch Oliver Stone’s The Doors with Kitty about 100,000 times. There are munchies. I am falling a little, and am scared. The timing’s shit. Mom’s bad sick, very bad. We’re preparing to lose her.

Kitty goes backpacking in Europe. Takes my favorite strand of beads to Jim’s grave in Paris. Bu splits, quits returning calls.

Kitty comes back, finds Bu has been all guylike on me. Gets us to hang. We feel sparkage still. Cool.

July Kitty brings her Europe photos to the hospital where I’m pulling an all nighter. Apologizxes for images of the Pere La Chaise cemetary and the ruins of the gas chambers at Aushwitz. I’m OK though, feeling serene and friendly with Death in a calm way that is scary if I examine it.

Bu & I hike and make love in the woods. I tell him I love him, and he [runs away like I just pulled the pin on a grenade] calmly reminds me it’s far too soon to say that.

Mom dies.

Bu is amazing. He helps with everything, and he will tell me later that he fell in love with me at Mom’s wake.

He takes me to Hatteras Island where I scatter some of Mom’s ashes. Before we leave, he tells me he loves me. I am, inexplicably, shocked and terrified. I’m over it by the time we are embracing in the ocean.

Winter 2001 I move in with Bu and his brother, here in their grandparents’ old house. We have talks that include me saying things like “I have a size 9 1/2 ring finger.” (Yes, I have huge bones.)

Pregnancy scare. Oh, nope, nevermind- we’re good.

Spring 2002 I go back to school. Take a second level Ceramics class and reconnect with the darling Molly. I tell her how, when Bu and I have talked about babies, we think we’d probably name a girl baby Molly. I confide that I’m feeling an inkling of baby fever.

Fall 2002 Bu proposes. I say “Yeh-Huh!” all teary. The ring looks vaguely Elvish. We’re in the snow in the woods. Le swoon.

Life happens, Bu buys the house. I am working at the thrift store. School + work hard. Clay is heaven.

Fall 2004 We try & try to arrive at the perfect engraving for the rings. We ponder and ponder and ponder. One night, late, Bu jokes: “Peanut butter & Jelly.” We look at each other in awe, giggle hysterically, and then go have our rings engraved with peanut butter and jelly.

We get married. Very Unitarian Universalist ceremony with handfasting, in a park in my hometown.

My dad’s mom dies. Bu, again, sweet as I both mourn her and relive losing my mom.

I have my senior exhibit squee! but fail to graduate due to failing chem. Spring 2005 I graduate. Skip ceremony & just have a mimosa.August 2005 Get myself beautifully knocked up.

And thus endeth the first leg of the journey of Bu/Bew, except for the part where I tell you: my first Boo was my little black cat. I got him around the time I played footsies with Bu. Bu got named Bu because all my beloveds are Boos and he likes Buddha statues. He also has a bit of a Buddha belly but don’t tell him I told you. He calls me Bew, and Molly is Boue. The family name is Boo.

And the journey keeps going, baby in tow.

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