open up my head and let me out

What’s on my mind of late:

This is a new and exciting development: I’m anxious! I’ve also been too busy to get to bed before mindnight in a month or so, which means I haven’t closed my eyes until 1:00 am or later. I can be dead on my feet exhausted and I cannot fall asleep in less than an hour. The six hours of sleep I’m getting is, of course, chopped into bits by a certain hungry fussy creature. This all means I have a pretty pretty new cluster of zits and a very charming tendency to bite Bu’s head off &/or burst into tears at any random moment.

I have a wedding to attend Saturday and nothing appropriate to wear. I do have a small amount of store credit at a discount department store but it was earmarked for a new bookshelf for Emsy’s room. I hate being so goddamn broke that I can’t just go spend $20 or $25 on a pretty blouse without planning and worrying and sacrificing.

I’m constantly stewing this idea Lexie and I have for a parenting website. There’s got to be a way to make some money from my design skills and get me home more. I have some ideas, like a Cafe Press tie in with baby & mama stuff, and I’m thinking about a WAHM businesses directory or ad network or something. I need to research this more instead of just daydreaming.

I miss the old blog today. Wondering if we do our website thing will I be Roxy me or Me me? I dreamt I was redesigning my header graphic with a cool inverted colors dark daisy image. Cute. Some days I want to delete it and go back to the Me blog.

Too much thinking is being harmful. I have a song on constant repeat in my head: Paralyzer by Finger 11. This is a fucking great song. The guitar riff is crack. The name of that band makes me have giggles. Somebody’s running around hoarding all the extra fingers while some of us would be happy to have 10. /Snark.

…If your body matches what your eyes can do, you’ll probably move right through me on my way to you…


4 responses to “open up my head and let me out

  1. thinking can be harmful and GRRL, you got to get some sleep!!!

    more later…

  2. with me there’s a direct connection between being broke and losing sleep. i worry. once i lie down my brain starts to spin and i can’t turn it off. the worst days are those where my body is knackered but i can’t go to sleep.
    it’s been a bit better later, but as long as there’s no real solution in sight i guess that problem’s gonna stay around.

  3. We did sleep beautifully last night, and then slept in and went to a LLL meeting, so it was good. No alarm tomorrow a.m. either:)

    The money issue actually stresses me more indirectly than directly. It’s Bu’s worst stressor and his stress really, really freaks me out. We deal badly with eachother’s reactions to stress that’s hard in a marriage. We need to find out how to go through it together.

  4. problems dealing with stress – everyone knows those
    problems dealing with each others reactions to stress – terrible.
    sometimes we manage well, sometimes it’s real bad. my man has phases where our being broke hits him with the blackest moods. while i start racking my mind about what i could possibly do about it he just sinks deep into depression doing nothing. i tear and tug and pull and twist and snap to get him out of that, raise his spirits, hopes, whatever, nothing works. after a while that’s too much for me and i get depressed and hopeless. and that’s usually when he finally starts to move.
    that circle repeats ever so often. guess we have to work on that.

    good that you’re having a relaxing weekend. make sure to do a lot of cuddling!

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