the strangest heart i’ve ever felt

Dream last night:

Bu and I have traveled to Alabama to stay w/ Lexie. The house is long and narrow. Very light in space and aura.

Her whole family is there; it’s a mad zoo. Her dad, granddad, cousins. I feel overwhelmed by them all. They all look like M’s family with his dark wavy hair. Remy = adorable! There is a very complicated diapering with small cut-outs pinned individually into his pants. Emsy likes him. She has a cousin who seems to hate me but then warms up; He reminds me of my step brother, to whom I have never really warmed.

Lexie, her grandfather, M, Bu, maybe more, are all in a line with their hands on each other’s hearts doing some kind of divination or energy reading. I join in with Lexie’s hand on my heart. She looks interested, like concerned-interested. “What is it?” I ask. “This is the strangest heart I’ve ever felt.” I say something along the lines of “Well, it may well have a whole extra chamber. Who the hell knows with this body. I have missing parts, extra parts…”

The end. What a weirdly unsetting but poetic phrase. I woke with it resonating in my mind. I may have to wait ages for Alexis to come back from California to hear her reaction. (Do they have net access where you’re staying?)

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