Even when Bu goes streaking through the house and pulls me from my slouching-in-chair to do our family-of-boo trademark happy dance. It’s not terrible. I didn’t spend the day in tears or anything, just still feel like the color in my energy and perception is turned down a couple of notches.
It was a good simple morning. I made a bunch of tortillas and flatbread to boost my fiber- started doing Weight Watchers with borrowed books & stuff. (Trying the nursey mom points for a week or two and maybe adjust since I’m not a round the clock nursing/pumping mom now. She won’t usually nurse during the day at all now.) I love my little bread training wheels so much I got some yeast and more whole wheat flour and will do a real loaf tomorrow. It’s awesome therapy, Molly at my feet saying ball (“Bah-aah-aaawwwwwwlllll”) and playing with chunky plastic beads while I roll out tortillas and think about Demeter and anthropology and nutrition. Brain never stops. Wondering how people eat the white boring ick Bu calls bread? is Demeter the Goddess of Flaxseeds and Omega-3 too or just corn? How did the species survive without baby gates and pop beads? Can I count half points?
Then we went shopping and I ate the best pear in the world. Still feel only like 65% present. Just translucent a little but thick. Slug person is what Aunt P says I am when I’m in my little hole.
Very tired. Will go curl up now up to Bu and feel like I’m stealing his warm comforting touch like a succubus. I’ll snap out my funk any minute now. Maybe I need a canteloupe. Chocolate no help at all, therefore very serious depression. /smirk