authentic

Nag Champa incense is the scent of my authentic self. I didn’t realize this until Marianne’s beautiful package arrived from Sonoma. This mama is an incredible gifter. I’m so floored by this stuff I can’t believe it. And it all smells like the Nag Champa she included:) This is the secent of my mom, of my first apartment, of dating Bu and sex and stoned immaculate moon-eyed wild new love. I have been in a radically different mindset since her package arrived. Also included is an adorable little tin with homeopathic stress gummies! These little darlings are wicked- seriously, they are rocking my crazy parts like a swaddled baby. I’ll post photos soon of the three of us in our compliments-of-Busha-hats:) Molly and me have hats she knitted for us and Bu has one from Nepal. Bu loves Nepal. His fascination with the region is partly why he’s my Buddha. (Again, it’s not about the belly.)

Along with general creative mojo flowing with my moony time, my gratitude and humongous love for Marianne has inspired new art, even! She’ll get the first print and then I’ll officially birth my new Etsy shop. I feel so good today, anbd it’s been ages since I’ve been able to really feel that inside out. I’m happy when the tinkly laughter of a certain pixie princess falls on my ears or the little Birdy says her tiny precious words, but my overall mood and frame of mind has been tight, knotted, tensed anxiety.

I’m thinking a lot about my Authentic Self. (Laura mentioned a book recently about this, too, so maybe there’s a vibe about this floating around.) My feeling is that all unhappiness (well, in my life) stems from doing things that are in disharmony with my real core self. Zoning out with TV or DVD’s instead of sketching, eating cheesy greasy food instead of fresh veggies, blah blah blah ad infinitum.

So I will make some changes in how I spend my time and attention. Focus determines reality, and all that jazz. All hail Yoda.

Now I have to actually DO it, though. I’ve written that same post like 500 times, yeh?

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3 responses to “authentic

  1. it’s wonderful when smells can bring us back to good times … 🙂

    i wish my creativity would flow with my moony tide – all i ever get nowadays is a cleaning frenzy!

    i’m constantly wondering if my authentic self is he one that i am when i just let myself be (and eat greasy stuff, and zone out with tv, or books, regardless of mounts of dirty clothes in the bedroom) or the one it think i should be, the one that eats healthy and keeps a regular schedule.

  2. I cannot tell you how much your joy means to me. Creating the box for you gave me ten times that much. Every home in our family smells of nag champa. It’s a family favorite. Truly, I had so much fun thinking of all of you. I feel a very close connection…maybe your mama is guiding me to share my mama love. 🙂 And…thank you again for my website banner.xoxoxo

  3. I have two smells-sandalwood, from when the world opened up and swallowed me whole when I was 16, and sweet orange and ylang ylang from falling in love. My school librarian made me that perfume, and every letter I wrote to Mogo ended up being subtly coated in it.

    I’d kill for that perfume again.

    I’m always amazed at how easily our memories are guided by scent.

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