Monthly Archives: January 2008

um… ew

House Spoiler: Continue reading

fire & rain

Molly learned a new word today: rain. I’m so tickled by that. It’s like when she learned “moon” ages ago. Moon, by the way, refers not only to the mystical orb of Goddessiness orbiting Our Mother Earth but also to the dome light in the car, and occasionally to random streetlights:) Her “rain” is really impressive. The “r” is almost there. She’s liking to say bubbles lately a lot too, for her bath. My little watery baby, like her raft guide daddy.

Incedentally, a rainy day is not good timing for jumpstarting a Life Changing Six O’Clock Wake Up Regimen. It became 7:45, and then I was watching Curious George, and then I was late for work.

It’s a nice evening. The fire is glowy and warm and we’ve got a little store of locust wood. I didn’t know there was a species of tree called locust but there is- Wikipedia and Bu agree. It’s kind of golden wood and it smells amazing- I thought Bu threw sage on the fire the first time we burned some. It’s a sweeter smell than sage but a little similar. It makes me mellow down into my soul like Van Morrison.

Gonna make some chamomile tea and watch Dr. Sexy SnarkFace then go to sleep. Happy Tuesday night.

really yum potato soup

My recipe book reads kind of like a journal. Or a lab report.  There’ll be an original recipe then there are my notes and slashings through (and also dried, caked on splatters.) This is sometimes because I need math reminders when I half a veg recipe Bu won’t eat. Usually there are substitutions for cheaper, less exotic spices:) And occasionally I just want to feel adventurous and can’t bear to follow a recipe perfectly.

I have perfected a Potato Soup Experiment. Let me show you. The original recipe is here, for reference. My version is this:

  • 5 small potatoes, peeled & diced
  • some margarine, butter, vegan stuff
  • 1 medium white onion, chopped
  • 2 cups veggie broth
  • garlic powder and minced garlic (b/c I dumped the powder in, then found the minced stuff. Use as you will. Lots is good.)
  • chives- a whole buncha
  • 2 cups of milk mixed with 2 tbs all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup instant mashed potatoes. (always a staple for teh Birdy, seemed easier than blending*.)

In a 2 quart saucepan, cook the onions in some butter until soft.
Add the potatoes and the broth. Simmer on medium until reduced by half-ish and potatoes are soft.
Stir in the milk/flour stuff. Add spices and simmer a bit.
Stir or whisk in the instant potatoes. Salt & pepper to taste. Yum.

*The original version tells you to puree half of the soup then add back in. This is how I make my black bean soup thick. I saw a groovy tip on TV: if you’re blending hot stuff, take the middle part of the lid off of your blender and put a rag over it. Then the heat won’t explode your stuff.


I just opened a jar of salsa, thinking, “Salsa’s well preserved with salty spicy goodness-it doesn’t go bad, does it?” and a small, audible poof of mold came out. I saw a flash of me as the teaser scene of an episode of House. He’d send whoever on his team is Bitch that day to go through my kitchen, and they’d find nothing. Because I pulled out the disinfectant and went apeshit on my kitchen. I may have just obliterated the next great super-antibiotic with Lysol. Hmph.

New episodes tomorrow, of House. I’ll have to tape them, I guess. Molly’s bedtime does not fit into my TV viewing habits. The nerve.

an anxious slacker all during her twenties, she suddenly became an overnight sensation when…

At age 31 and three quarters, she began waking at 6:00 am. That month, Daisy became the super prolific artist we all know today, and simultaneously lost 50 pounds, published a novel, and remodeled her house- all whilst teaching her child American Sign Language and French and practicing Tai Chi with Bu.

This is the silly junk that runs through my mind, thinking of when my ceramics professor told me during critique that I’d be famous if I woke at 6:00. I think she’s actually right- not necessarily that I’ll catapult to fame, but that if I can get a little routine and time management going, many other things will fall into place.

I’m just sick to goddamn death of feeling like I have epiphanes on top of my epiphanes and I am Right On The Brink of becoming who I really, really am and it’s this Big, Big feeling. But then it’s gone and I’m in the same eternal rut.

(OK, Nell, maybe I am a little bit bipolar. You can’t really be that, right? Like being a little bit pregnant…)

So I’m trying to think small, because it’s do-able, small is. So, a six o’clock alarm. Waking early will hopefully get the Birdy to bed earlier too, which would be fantastic. I need small changes to actually happen, to make them happen. Because all the Real Big Shit not changing is depressing me. Another thing I keep replaying in my head is when Oprah has the Secret Cult guys on her show (and yeah we actually bought the DVD’s because however much cheesy cultishness there is, the Law of Attraction is a thing, and it works) and she said that when you tell yourself you will do something and then you don’t, you start to not believe your own inner dialogue and that sucks because it can be a serious source of power. I paraphrase. But it got lodged in my consciousness, because my inner voice is has been a pathological liar. So I’ll keep trolling Zen Habits and try to make small, defined goals and then do them.

Because seriously, the thought of being 40, or even 33, and still making the same lame ass posts about why I suck but I rock on the inside and will someday rock totally, inside out, makes me queasy. I am so sick of dwelling on unfulfilled potential and revisiting the same insane artist psyche crap of self aggrandizement and self loathing at the same time. It’s psychotic. Add “I Must be the Best Mama in History or Molly will be in Therapy Forever!!!!” into the mix and good goddess it’s just a hellish thing.

you suck at photoshop

This is fucking hilarious. Seriously, watch the whole series of them, even if you don’t give a fig about learning Photoshop:

the best posts you never read

I had a bunch of posts sitting around in draft form, in limbo. Some were unfinished and the two at the end I decided were too twisted. Now that the emotions aren’t so raw it’s easier to let them see the light of day. Only it’s dark.  So, here are they: Continue reading