Bones was notable for me last night, not only because the episode touched on the “Third World, USA” nature of the WV economy, but because there was a baby and much matter-of-fact talk of breastfeeding. I was amused. Booth was squirmy.
The state of my* boobs at the moment is still the same- the only nursing going on is the early morning wake-ups. There has been a progression, however, to more active weaning on my part. The Birdy spent Friday night and Saturday evening at the grandies’ and Saturday night nursed all night, although she did go to sleep with storybooks. She has been asking to nurse, but has been easy to distract and hasn’t fully cried for it. If she were the slightest bit more upset about it I don’t think I could refuse her. I made the decision that if she gets needy enough that I feel like an asshole for not nursing, I’ll nurse her. I’m happy with the idea of her self-weaning (which it is now clear isn’t really happening) and after the annoyed feeling I had with the Saturday marathon, I’m still hoping for gentle weaning. I just don’t have it in me to forcibly wean her, though. Feels wrong. Right now, I’m happy with where we are. Her Papaw and I talked about how she is such a big girl until she’s sleepy, and how it’s very appropriate that in her “baby hours” she is nursing, and in her “big girl hours” she isn’t.
My favorite part of this whole thing is the bedtime routine. We went from an hour or two of switching between nursing, reading, and fussing and insisting “Up!” several times to 10 or 15 minutes of snuggling and reading, and then she asks for lights out and I spoon around her little cuddly self and she goes right to sleep. It’s crazy awesome.
*Only she reminds me now they aren’t mine. This morning I thought I’d try to put her off when she asked for num-a-num, and she cried “Mine! Mine!” So yeah… not self-weaning, but not really resisting the pattern of no nursing during the day and at bedtime.