Category Archives: appalachia

this is why i win biggest fuck-up award today

Because I forgot that, as a registered member of the Mountain/Green Party in WV, I can’t vote for a presidential nominee. We ain’t got any. Apparently. We did… I dunno what happened to Jesse Johnson. I realized this yesterday. Quite a hell of a  lot too late to switch. But OMG did I need to. Read this, from Salon:

“They won’t go for a black man, that’s just it,” R.K. Horton, a retired heating and air conditioning business owner, said of his neighbors. “I don’t think it’s being racist necessarily, they just don’t like black people that well.” For that matter, it’s not just his neighbors. “The arrogance and all that bothers me more than black, but black is a close second,” he said. “Our generation was back when blacks were the back of the bus, and it’s hard to change that outlook. I just feel like I couldn’t vote for him.”

Italics by me, whose head just exploded. There really are other non asshat West Virginians, I swear. Fuck.

fumpkin pestival

Highlights from the 2007 Pumpkin Festival:

Massive doodles on Thursday, a.k.a. The Slow Day.

Many, many babies, especially newborns who made my uterus cry with wanting.

A cool-looking mom with great tattoos who used her daughter’s long ponytail as a loose leash and made me laugh.

Pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin fudge- yesyesyes.

Number of Carrie Underwood covers butchered onstage: 2

Number of passable renditions of Carrie-esque renditions of “I’ll Stand by You”: 1

An incredible hot girl in the booth next to ours with great clothes and jewelry whose boyfriend tried to get me to sign up for a Friends of Coal mailing list and who was apparently confused to find out that there are people, in WV no less, who don’t so much love Big Coal*.

My I-Grew-A-Pair Story:

I wanted a souvenir, so I wandered around and found a pair of framed simple needlepoint doodly things. One said “crow” and one “willow” with respective imagery. $4.99 each. Nice. I snatched them up and when I showed my coworker, she spotted Made in China stickers on the backs. My jaw dropped and I took my stuff back. I politely told her that I supposed I should have asked if the stuff was locally made, but being that I was at an arts and crafts festival, I’d assumed so. She gave me my cash, saying she normally wouldn’t but… Never said “but what” but I guess she meant “But I’d like you to shut up and go away now you crazy hippy.”

I bought a cute quilted pillow with a crow and “harvest” emboidered on it. The artist sold it to me herself:)

*Coal mining is pretty much a religion here, despite the fact that actual economic history shows we’ve been assfucked by the industry, doing all the working and dying from black lung and dangerous conditions while out of state or country businesses turn profits. Plus there is the pesky little problem of fossil fuels killing the planet. Endrant.

mountain = mama

mountainismama.jpg No, I haven’t finished The To-Do List That Ate Seneca Rock, but I wanted to make a quickie post and then wanted to add a photo from Bu’s recent WV adventures in landscape photography, and then I had to play in Photoshop because it is teh crack.

I kinda lurv my silly design. I’d buy it in sticker or T-shirt form. Need to do the Zazzle or Cafe Press thing. Anyone have experience? I’ve heard Cafe Press’s merchandise is poorly made. Zazzle seems to be less friendly for shop owners maybe. Thoughts? Experiences?

I’m all over the mountain mama thing these days, y’all.

1. Have had Carrie Underwood’s truckbashing anthem of Redneck Grrl Justice, Before He Cheats, stuck in my head for weeks. Weeks! It is awesome. I love the flow of the lyrics. The rhythm of them is just yum. And while I certainly am not the country music fan, I have to disclose that the few songs I do like are really fun to sing because in my voice/twang everything sounds like country anyway. Seriously. It’s like Hay-uhd Lahk a Howuhl Y’all when I sing Nine Inch Nails. OK, not that bad. On the scale of twang in the region, I’m low. But it is there. It’s more pronounced when I sing or am drunk. *g*

2. I conceded to Bu that his occasional use of um, holler dialect is permissable and will henceforth be a respected cultural tradition that I will no longer correct because a) it is bitchy and condescending, and b) I’m addictedish to the Buffy slanguage-y goodness and get all inventy with my words so it’s the same diff. Not that I totally adopted this from Buffy per se. My friend (and proudly loudly self-proclaimed Redneck Woman) who saw it the first time said “They talk like you!” Heh. Me and Joss? We’re soooo tight.

3. I have a horse ranch logo to design and I’m itchin’ to use some cool western fonts I have had for ages but never needed. Fun. Also working on a quilting and crafts company’s site.  Again with the fun fun fonts.

OK, I’m fixin’ to work now, really.  

good gay news

Thank you Accuradio>>Flock of Eighties>>No Metal. This is the first time I’ve heard It’s Raining Men outside of a gay bar. FYI, in WV, it does rain men in the gay bars. Cute girls? Yes but considerably fewer. At least that was true in the days before my hugely pregnant breastfeeding constantly too-busy-with-toddler-to-party ass was still going out occasionally.

Join me, people who live on my Blogroll, in a collective w00t for Charleston, WV: the city added sexual orientation to anti-discrimination laws.

the screams / the clutching of breast / so sorry about the mess

We’re back. The trip was, as predicted, bliss. We had a perfect re-charge. If I weren’t having hormonal hell right now, I’d still be glowing. Instead I keep waiting to see if I’ll actually have a period or if I just get the bloating and moodswings and weirdness without any actual mess. It’s mindboggling that Molly still nurses enough to usually supress my periods. (I’m starting to worry about her food apathy. I don’t know… the webbie breastfeeding gurus say milk is all she needs for a year, that food is very much an experimental thing, and until 18 months-ish it’s appropriate to get most of the nutrition from nursing. In real life, though, no one I know has a baby who still eats so little solid food. I might see if our nurse can see us before her year check up just to ease my mind.)

I don’t have time to blog about the trip, but later on there will be a plethora of lovely photos by Bu, weird and slightly out-of-focus wannabe artsy photos by me, and exerpts from ye olde travelle journyl, the kind on paper- which I kept calling a blog:) Probably you’ll have to wait a day or two, as I have massive house recovery in store for me tonight. Bu’s cousin, who had such a lovely wedding, is coming to order prints and her album. She is exquistitely neat and tasteful and the thought of her seeing the scum in my bathroom or the laundry piles makes me feel almost as queasy as the endless serpentine roads we just travelled.

For now, as this is such a mundane post, I’ll present you with this: Have you heard Low? Omigoddess- I’m in love. Bu discovered them by clicking on an ad in Urge and I’m floored. So very much digging them.

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a breastfeeding victory in WV

Some friends of mine did a lot of work to make this happen. I sent a few emails:/ But we have a (watered down) version of the bill being signed Monday.

From the WV Breastfeeding Yahoo group:

Just got word from Governor Manchin’s office that he will be signing SB 148, the breastfeeding-related bill, this coming Monday, April 2 at 10:30 AM in the Governor’s Reception Room in the main Capitol building.

>Date: 2007/03/19 Mon AM 08:53:50 CDT
>Subject: Fw: WV Legislature Addresses

Perinatal Issues
Dear Perinatal Partnerhip – 2007 – Partners: The WV State legislators are listening to YOU. Two of the ten Policy Initiatives identified by YOU during our 2006 WV Perinatal Wellness Study were addressed during the 2007 legislative session. Please thank your legislators.

1. a. Policy Initiative: To Support and Promote Breastfeeding. SB 148 was adopted and the bill ensures that breastfeeding is not considered indecent exposure. The bill was passed by both houses, was corrected after the end of the regular session due to a technical problem, and passed again on Sunday March 18th. The Governor is expected to sign the bill soon.

1. b. FUNDING For Lactation Training! To support and promote breastfeeding in WV, the State legislature awarded $20,000 for a week long training program for hospital nurses (and other professionals) on lactation education. The funds were designated in the Women, Infants and Childrens (WIC) budget. Thanks to Cinny Kittle and the Perinatal Partnership – 2007 Committee to Support and Promote Breastfeeding for helping to educate legislators about the need for training!

2. Expanding tests for newborn infants, HB 2583, passed. Currently, West Virginia only screens newborn babies for 4 diseases. HB 2583 expands newborn screening to all twenty-nine screenings recommended by the March of Dimes and the American Academy of Pediatrics. The tests will be phased in over a two-year period. It was passed on the final day of the session.

Many of my friends are going to show support; I can’t get away from work after missing so much this week, but I’m throwing my WooHoo out into the blogosphere.

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be, bolly, ad the bood

*Edit: This post title references Me, Molly, and the Moon, my old blog.

I’b so codgested. By dose is rudding ad stobbed up ad the sabe tibe.

Help cheer me up: I’m getting a subscription to Urge, yay, and I need music recs. My current playlist is called Rasputori, combining the red headed goddess and Rasputina. I’m also digging Violent Femmes, Modest Mouse, System of a Down, NIN, KT Tunstall, Fall Out Boy, um…. Gorillaz, Franz Ferdinand, The Killers.

Based on this hodgepodge of favorites, who else do I need to hear? I’m in danger of permanently being of the not hip, (sporting a pureed vegetable splattered ‘do rag for three days now… Did I mention- so sick?) so help keep me au courant, s’il vous plait. Much obliged. Yes, my specialty is combining the almost-Southern drawl of WV with a passable French accent;)

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…was what my mom called me when I was a) having a candlelit ritual in the backyard, b) extolling the virtues of tofu and condemning the meat industry, c) telling her about my “girlfriend” in Pittsburgh, or d) being otherwise Not Of the Mainstream, at least for my itty bitty suburb in Appalachia.

She would accuse me, on occasion, of being a nonconformist because everyone else was doing it. The sexuality, the religion, the food choices- all for coolness, y’all. This infuriated by 19 year old belly pierced black dyed hair sportin’ self very much. The piercings and the hair, sure. Superficial. But give a kid a little credit.

Exit mom, enter Bu. He tells me I’m non traditional for the sake of being non traditional. (Wasn’t I supposed to marry my father not my mother?) He told me that when I planned to hyphenate my name. (Turns out it’s an annoyingly long name, so no. I opted for his short & sweet surname, and took my maiden name as my middle name. Please don’t tell my grandma. My middle name was her name.) He told me that during intense, long arguments with pregnant me about vegetarianism and circumcision. He also informed me yesterday that I am too old to dye my hair purple. (Just a few streaks? Very sophisticated purple hair it would be…)

While people I love are wondering why I’m so far out man, I’m wondering how/when I got so tame. Feeling very soccermom, having tattoo lust again. Is it motherhood? Thirty-ness? I just feel very um, restrained lately. Boring, actually. Like I’m not expressing myself at Full Heidi Strength. Possibly related in a convoluted way to my not producing (fine) art and missing school.

As an extension of this obsession with lack of hip, I think it’s a huge tragedy that Molly has no cool clothes like the ones Drew is sporting. Why am I drowning in tiny pink things? So I was doing the online version of window shopping, and at Baby Wit I saw a T shirt that says “They’re raising me gay.” I told Bu if I were a single mom Molly’d totally have that shirt. He surprised me by laughing and saying that if we didn’t have the Mormon grandies around she could have the shirt.

I don’t know if I want my the Boue wearing something political, although this rocks, but I have got to get some funk up in her wardrobe for her birthday. I’m definitely earmarking some of the income tax return for her.

And this might be one of the most superficial posts I’ve written to date. Tomorrow I’ll update you on the joy of discovering non-toxic nail polish at the health food store and how Honest Tea chai is not sweet enough. Just because I wanted organic doesn’t mean I wanted you to skimp on the yum, peeps. Argh.

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This is an ode to my Bu. Bu who drags me away from my computer when I am ready to explode with stress and makes me go hike up the hill across from our property. Bu who holds me when I’m sobbing for the most inane reasons and doesn’t ask why. Bu who used to live in a tent near the New River and guide whitewater rafting trips and who is like a masculine version of a water nymph, and who will snort at me for writing that.

It was an amazing day, and we went to the woods and he told me about playing there when he was little, and the dogs played. Mollybird was at church with the grandies and it was the first “date” we’ve had in ages. I found a little stone to take home to help ground me when the work stressed me out too much. Looking for the perfect stone was fun and silly and I was delighted like a little kid on a treasure hunt when I found the right one.
I had little anxiety relapses afterward, but Bu still helped immensely. He’s an amazing force of calm and centeredness when my energy’s scattered and crazy. He steered me through the hardest time in my life, and I’m so amazed at the way he manages to do this without patronizing me or letting me sink. Just perfect balance and support.
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mother of the freakin’ year

And you thought Britney was the most pathetic redneck mother in the country…

Well, in my defense, my human baby is accounted for and it’s been 7 years since I shaved my head under the influence of a fifth of Jack Daniels.

But still: Animal control just dropped off my dogs and issued me four citations, two for each errant dog. They were “unconfined/no leash” and I couldn’t show him licenses. I don’t know if we have licenses or not, but I’m thinking we don’t. The supreme irony is that I was telling Bu we should start walking them out with leashes to poo so we can confine the lumps to one area that Molly can avoid when she’s big enough to play outside. He thought I was insane and silly. No one in our holler* does that- the big dogs run the neighborhood pretty much.

So now we have to go to court (at least $65) and show our licenses (who knows how much that costs) and proof of rabies shots (have they gotten those lately? Gods I suck. I have no fucking idea.)

The officer also informed me they had skin problems and I told him they’d just been to the vet and were being treated- they both have nasty allergies. So now I’m dreading telling Bu, because we already are in the hole for this month, and also I feel like the skankiest shittiest most careless trashy dog-mommy in the world.

And Baby Einstein’s over so I have to go read to the baby for 8 hours to alleviate my TV guilt.

*that’s WV for “hollow,” here meaning the cheap real estate in the valley between the hills where the nicer houses are located. I’m feeling acutely socio-economically bitter today since we don’t know where our mortgage payment will come from. My apologies for the downer after my Rainbow Goddamn Brite post yesterday:)